Managing Emotions at Work When Others Don’t

Managing emotions at work becomes hardest when the people around you are stressed, reactive, or unchecked. You can’t control how a colleague speaks to you or how a manager shows frustration. But you can control how you notice what’s happening, regulate your response, and decide what to do next. Emotional self-management is not about suppressing feelings. It is about staying effective and clear-headed when pressure shows up in everyday interactions. 

It usually starts small. A manager arrives late to a meeting, sounds sharp when asking for updates, or cuts off discussion because they’re under pressure elsewhere. Nothing explicit is said, but the tone is felt. People become cautious, quieter, or defensive. 

When people talk about managing emotions at work, they often assume the problem can be solved through personal resilience or attitude alone. In reality, emotional reactions are shaped by context. Deadlines, workload, uncertainty, and other people’s behaviour all play a role. The question isn’t whether emotions arise, but what you do with them.

Key Insights

• Effectiveness suffers most when emotional responses go unnoticed and unregulated.
• Other people’s emotional reactions are a normal part of work, not a sign that something is broken.
• Emotional self-management is a practical skill that improves decision quality and working relationships.
• You can stay grounded and professional even when others are not.

Why managing emotions at work matters more than you think

According to Mental Health Research Canada and its Mental Health in the Workplace 2025 findings, a significant proportion of Canadian employees report burnout and stress. These pressures affect how they function at work. Many also report not disclosing these challenges, which means emotional pressure shows up indirectly through tone, impatience, or withdrawal.

This matters because emotions influence attention, judgment, and behaviour. When emotional responses are unmanaged, people are more likely to misinterpret intent. They get defensive or make rushed decisions. Credibility can take a hit after a tense exchange. Conversations get postponed or avoided. Frustration lingers longer than it should. Over time, these cumulative moments shape how others experience you at work. In PMC Training workshops, participants describe single interactions that derailed focus for hours or days afterward. Managing emotions at work supports focus, judgment, and day-to-day effectiveness.

The hidden impact of other people’s emotional reactivity

A 2024 peer-reviewed study published in Frontiers in Psychology examined how emotional exhaustion in managers affects teams within a Canadian public sector organization. The research found that emotional exhaustion can ripple outward by reducing leadership behaviours and psychological safety, which in turn affects how teams function.

The point isn’t that managers are the problem. It’s that emotional states are contagious. When someone brings visible frustration, others often absorb it. Recognizing this dynamic helps explain why this skill is not just an individual preference. It’s a necessary response to real workplace conditions.

This dynamic explains why emotional self-management becomes most important precisely when others are not managing themselves well.

What managing emotions at work is not (and what it actually looks like)

Many professionals equate emotional management with hiding how they feel. That approach tends to backfire. Suppression uses energy, builds frustration, and often leaks out through sarcasm, withdrawal, or abrupt communication.

What actually helps is recognizing emotional signals early and choosing a response that supports the situation.

Guidance from the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety emphasizes identifying stress triggers and managing reactions rather than ignoring them. This aligns with how emotional regulation works in practice.

Emotional self-management means noticing what’s happening inside you, naming it, and choosing a response that supports your role and responsibilities. It is the difference between reacting on autopilot and responding with intention. It’s not easy, but learnable.

Practical ways to manage your own emotions when others don’t

The following approaches are drawn from PMC Training’s work with professionals across the private, government, and non-profit sectors.

1. First, slow the moment down. Strong reactions narrow attention. A brief pause, even for a few seconds, creates space to choose how to respond. This matters most right after a sharp comment or unexpected tone shift, when reactions tend to take over.
2. Second, separate impact from intent. When someone is reactive, it’s easy to assume we know why, but that may not be accurate. Checking your assumptions reduces escalation.
3. Third, focus on what you can influence. You may not be able to change another person’s mood, but you can clarify expectations, ask questions, or suggest next steps.
4. Fourth, reset after difficult interactions. Emotional residue, the lingering frustration or tension that sticks with you after a tough exchange, is common. Name it internally and refocus. Don’t let one moment shape the rest of your day.

These skills are closely tied to how emotions affect judgment. In real workplaces, emotional decision-making often shows up in subtle ways, such as agreeing too quickly or avoiding a conversation.

Where emotional intelligence training fits

Canada’s National Standard for Psychological Health and Safety in the Workplace, maintained by the Mental Health Commission of Canada, highlights the shared responsibility for psychological safety at work. Organizational systems matter, but individuals also need skills to navigate emotional demands in everyday interactions.

Structured emotional intelligence development builds awareness, regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. It treats emotional self-management as a practical capability that can be learned and strengthened over time, rather than a fixed trait or a matter of personality.

Next step: building emotional self-management skills

If managing emotions at work feels harder than it should, especially when others are reactive, skill development can help. PMC Training’s Personal Effectiveness Through Emotional Intelligence (EQ1) course is designed for professionals who want practical tools for recognizing emotional triggers, regulating responses, and staying effective and professional under pressure.