How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers (Without Authority or Making It Worse)

Knowing how to deal with difficult coworkers is especially challenging when you are not their manager. In many workplaces, people are expected to address problematic behaviour from peers, partners, or stakeholders without formal authority.

Difficult coworkers are typically a situational behaviour issue, not a character flaw, and can often be addressed using clear, behaviour-focused strategies even without authority.

When behaviour is left unaddressed, it rarely disappears on its own. More often, it spreads, resurfaces, or shows up later in more disruptive ways. The goal is not to label someone as difficult or “win” a confrontation. The aim is to reduce negative impact on work, relationships, and team norms while keeping conversations professional and proportionate.

Key Insights

• Difficult coworkers are defined by impact, not intent or personality.
• Avoidance and over escalation are common responses. Both tend to make behaviours worse.
• You do not need authority to address behaviour, but you do need clarity and discipline in how you do it.
• Separating behaviour from character reduces defensiveness and keeps conversations workable.
• Not every situation calls for a conversation. Inaction still has consequences.

What Makes a Coworker “Difficult” at Work

In practice, a difficult coworker is someone whose behaviour repeatedly interferes with work, relationships, or the ability to do your job effectively, making it harder to manage conflict within a team. This might include dismissive communication, chronic interruptions, missed commitments, hostility, or undermining others.

Canadian guidance makes an important distinction between behaviour and personality. Workplace resources focus on observable actions and their effects, not on labelling people as problems. Inappropriate workplace behaviour is defined by what happens and how it affects others, not by intent, according to the Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety (CCOHS).

This distinction matters. When conversations drift into character judgments, people defend themselves. When conversations stay anchored in behaviour and impact, they are more likely to stay productive.

Why Difficult Behaviour Is Often Left Unaddressed

Most professionals don’t ignore difficult behaviour because they don’t care. They avoid it because the risks feel real. Speaking up can strain relationships, backfire politically, or escalate into formal complaints.

Problematic workplace behaviour is not rare. National survey data shows that a significant proportion of workers experience harassment or inappropriate conduct in work-related settings (Statistics Canada, 2024). Not all difficult behaviour meets the threshold of harassment, but the data reinforces how common workplace harm can be.

In facilitated workplace discussions, two default responses show up repeatedly. One is avoidance, hoping the issue resolves itself. The other is escalation, raising the issue formally without first addressing it directly. Both are understandable, but neither is neutral.

How Do You Deal with Difficult Coworkers When You’re Not the Boss?

When you are not the boss, your options for addressing difficult coworker behaviours are narrower, but not nonexistent. Influence still exists. It just needs to be used carefully.

People in these situations often underestimate what they control. They control what they name, what they tolerate, what they document, and how clearly they communicate impact. They also control whether behaviour is addressed early or allowed to escalate.

This is where many professionals benefit from grounding their approach in practical communication skills rather than relying on position or escalation, especially when a conversation feels uncomfortable but necessary.

How to Address Behaviour Without Making It Personal

Effective conversations focus on behaviour, context, and impact. They avoid assumptions about motive or character and help people base decisions and next steps on what can actually be observed.

From a practical standpoint, this means describing what happened, when it happened, and how it affected the work. It means avoiding loaded language and sticking to specific examples. This approach keeps the conversation grounded and makes it easier to stay professional, even when the behaviour itself is frustrating.

A Simple Behaviour–Impact–Request Technique

When people avoid addressing difficult behaviour, it’s often because they don’t know how to start without sounding accusatory or emotional. One practical technique PMC Training facilitators use with participants is a simple three-part structure that keeps conversations focused and professional.

1. Name the behaviour. Be specific and factual. This anchors the conversation in something observable rather than subjective.
2. Describe the impact. Focus on what the behaviour affects, such as timelines, decision-making, collaboration, or rework. This helps shift the discussion away from intent and toward consequences that matter at work.
3. Make a clear request. Keep it reasonable and forward-looking. The goal is not to correct the past, but to set expectations for what needs to change going forward.

Used together, this approach reduces assumptions and helps handle difficult workplace behaviours in a more structured way. It also gives you a way to address behaviour without authority by staying grounded in the work itself rather than personal judgment.

When to Let It Go and When You Shouldn’t

The most effective first step is to slow down and make a deliberate choice rather than a reactive one. Not every difficult interaction requires a conversation, and not every issue should be escalated.

Common Missteps That Make Things Worse

• Waiting too long to act. Letting frustration build often turns a manageable issue into a personal one and makes conversations harder than they need to be.
• Making it about intent or personality. When the focus shifts to why someone behaves a certain way, discussions stall and defensiveness increases.
• Escalating before addressing behaviour directly. Formal escalation without a prior conversation can damage trust and limit future options.

Recurring behaviour and its impact matter more than isolated moments. Asking yourself whether the behaviour is happening repeatedly, who it affects, and what is likely to happen if nothing changes can help clarify the right response. Choosing not to act can still shape team norms and working relationships over time.

Putting These Strategies Into Practice

Knowing how to deal with difficult coworkers is not about having the perfect script. It’s about judgment, self-management, and communication under pressure.

PMC Training’s Dealing with Difficult Behaviours course focuses on helping professionals practice these conversations in realistic scenarios, build confidence addressing behaviour without authority, and make better decisions about when to speak up, document, or escalate.

If this is a challenge you’re facing right now, this course offers a practical next step.